Best Etiquette for a Threesome

If you’re new to the threesome scene, here are some tips for a smoother, more satisfying experience.

In this article, we’re exploring a male-female-female threesome–a set-up that is becoming more and more popular. If there isn’t an established couple in the group, then pretty much anything goes, as long as everyone is respected and significantly emotionally detached.

However, if an established male-female couple is involved, and this is your first time, opening up the lines of communication is essential. Boundaries have to be stated, and tactfully.

Communicate. Discover each other’s boundaries, and be as honest as you can, with your partner and with yourself. This is untried area, so playing it safe is best for the first time, after which you can figure out what was too much, and what was too little.

Women: You and your partner have decided to try out a threesome with another woman. Perhaps you have a friend with whom you’d like to experience a threesome; or, you need to go finding a willing third wheel. If you’re looking online, for example, find someone you are comfortable with–physically, as well as mentally. Exchange emails or chat and make sure the woman’s motives jibe with your philosophy on the whole experience. Also, be as certain as you can that the woman respects you as a couple and your boundaries. Feel her out as much as you can.

How much or how little do you want your guy to participate? Think about this carefully. You will never be certain until you actually try it, but if you imagine, for example, seeing your guy go down on another woman and it gives you any bad feeling at all, don’t do it the first time. It’s absolutely fine to tell your guy this, and to let the woman know that you’re not yet comfortable with the idea.

Will there be girl-girl action? If yes, then this puts your guy at ease–perhaps not completely, but it’s a great icebreaker. Girl-girl action is probably the best way to begin a threesome “session”. It gets your guy going, and definitely works as foreplay. Girl-girl action is often very sensual and easy, and usually quite respectful. Once this action is heating up, you can invite your guy in. You calling the shots is probably the best idea as well, simply because your guy is probably a little nervous about his role. Even if you’ve discussed the whole scenario to bits, he will probably worry a little about upsetting you. This is normal and actually quite ideal, since you know he cares about your feelings.

Men: Relax. Be as respectful as you can. Don’t worry too much, but don’t worry too little either. If you charge ahead and focus too much on the other woman, it’s going to feel threatening to your girl. Take it easy, watch your girl’s body language, and follow her lead. If you’ve begun the session with girl-girl action, then the atmosphere is likely easygoing and sensual. When your girl is ready for you to join in, come up behind her, caress her, kiss her. Then you can begin to caress the other woman. Remember that kissing your girl often throughout the entire session is the very best way to make her feel good about the experience. Make the session as warm and loving as you can, even if it’s more about raunchy sex than romance to you. Your woman is sharing another woman with you, and this idea can be very romantic to her. Express your appreciation for her open-minded attitude through your actions–again, kissing and caressing her, whispering “I love you” in her ear from time to time…these actions will mean a whole lot to her and will make the experience a good one from her point of view.

Most importantly, pay attention to your partner’s body language and facial expressions. If your partner looks disturbed in any way, change the action subtly. Don’t overwhelm your girl by focusing too heavily on the other woman. Treat the other woman with respect, but also as a “sex toy” for you as a couple–a sex toy that is there for the pleasure of you both. If you keep this in mind, you will keep the focus on the right place, and that is your relationship with your partner, which is of prime importance.